Riverside Equestrian Center
7600 Lakeville Highway
Petaluma, CA 94954
(707) 782-0238 barn
hugh_white@msn.com

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Hugh White Training Stables Newsletter - August 2008
The most popular barn newsletter on the web! *
* because we said so.

The minis come out to play on a summer afternoon.

 

Horse Show Highlights

Pebble Beach Summer Classics
It was a looooong two weeks while Hugh and students were away at the Pebble Beach Equestrian Classic horse shows in July. Two of the biggest and most fiercely competitve shows of the year, it was not unusual for classes to have 30-40 (or more) competitors. Hugh and June Bug (La Princesa) won ribbons in the Level 5 and Level 6 jumpers. During week two he and La Princesa finished 9th (out of 41!) in the $10,000 Lexus Pebble Beach Jumping Derby! Meanwhile, Pippa Murray and Issabella (show name Sibeal) placed 3rd out of 37 in Pre-Adult Jumpers and 4th out of 30 in Level 1 Jumpers. Not to be outdone, FanFair took home a 6th place (out of 44) in the Level 2 Jumpers and 5th place (out of 58!) in Level 3 Jumpers with Hugh aboard. Brenda's finishes included a 2nd in AA Modified Jumpers, 3rd in Level 2 and 4th in Level 4. Her daughter Connolly rode her large pony Fancy (Simply Smashing) to ribbons in the large pony hunters, pony equitation and medal classes. Her wins included a blue ribbon in the USEF Pony Medal and 2nd place in the NorCal pony Medal. Tex (Lone Star) joined the fun for week two where he finished in the top 10 in the highly competitive pre-green division with Hugh and won ribbons (including a 3rd out of 15!) in the AA Modified Hunters with Brenda in the irons.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (literally), nobody self-destructed, impaled themselves on stakes or had to summon the LifeFlight helicopter. Panic ensued when the M&M supply ran out, but fortunately Hugh arrived in time to replenish it. You simply can't leave a barn full of menopausal women alone without chocolate.

Next stop: The Wine Country Classic horse show in Santa Rosa.

 

Hugh Survives Another Year

 

It's a miracle, but as of August 11 Hugh will have made it through another year without being murdered. The landmark event will celebrated with a gala birthday barbeque and beerfest at the barn on Sunday, August 10. Friends, family, former probation officers and people that Hugh owes money are invited to attend the celebration. Photos and full report will be included in next month's newsletter, provided one of those nasty gag orders isn't issued again.

Wondering what's been happening in the barn this month? Subscribe to BARN DIRT, the only online column that isn't afraid to tell you what's REALLY going on. Happy, sad, embarrassing or incriminating, we don't care. Send news and gossip to us care of Hugh at the email link at the top of the page. If you can't think of anything newsworthy, just make something up, our fact checkers suck.

Foal Update!!

"Hooligan," as he has been officially christened, is already living up to his name and putting his natural athleticism to work bucking, rearing and evading capture. He has already outgrown his first halter and is discovering the joy of eating pears. Soon he will discover the joys of shoeing, innoculations, and.....well, being gelded is a ways off, but let's just say he'd better enjoy 'em while he's got 'em.

Barn Rocked by Supply Rationing

Gasoline prices aren't the only prices that are spiraling out of control. The cost of feed, flyspray, frozen burritos and other barn essentials are also skyrocketing. Because of that, mandatory rationing of items is being enforced. Please take note of the rules below. Non-compliance is punishable by hard labor, which in extreme cases may including cleaning the office refrigerator.

Flyspray: The flyspray bottle will be filled once per day, from the supersecret, locked and guarded main repository, the location of which is known only to Hugh and Antonio. Five squirts of flyspray per side has been deemed sufficient for the average horse. If the bottle runs out before the day is over, you can substitute show sheen*. While it won't repel flies, it will make them slip off. *Unfortunately, show sheen is only available between the hours of 1pm and 2pm.

Hoof Pick: The Hoof pick is available between 10am and 11am and again between 2pm and 3pm. At other times of day it will be needed to open beer bottles. During these times a fork or small stick make a good hoofpick stand-in. You will find sticks on the floor in the office. Actually, that's where you'll find the forks too.

Tack cleaning supplies: Tackmaster and saddle soap are always available. Tack cleaning sponges, however, have been cut into quarters and will be rotated throughout the day.

Veterinary supplies - Duct tape will be dispensed by the inch and appropriate charges added to your bill. Please practice good hygiene with the thermometer, as it is also used to determine when meat is ready to be taken off the grill at barbeques. Betadyne has been replaced by the more cost-effective Trader Joe's Lavender Dish Soap. People are encouraged to re-use wraps and other disposable supplies. Remember, rolls of toilet paper are good for wrapping and can be found in the porta potties. As always, expired medications are in the plastic RX bins and accessible for any emergency. The combination to the lock on the RX bins can be obtained by mailing $4.95 in a self-addressed stamped envelope to Hugh at his P.O. Box.

Washing machine - as many of you are aware, the washing machine has been exhibiting sporadic behavior. While some people argue that it's broken, we have discovered that if you hold the agitator down and bang on the machine until the beginning of the spin cycle, it works just fine. Then leave the lid open during the spin sequence. Any items that manage to stay in the machine will end up amazingly dry, thus saving on energy needed to run the dryer. Items that exit the machine unexpectedly can be usually be found within a ten-foot radius of the laundry room. Until the washer can be fixed, we encourage you to make use of the rocks and washboard down by the canal. While beating saddlepads with rocks won't necessarily get them clean, it is a good way to alleviate the stress of having arrived late and missed out on getting to use the hoofpick again.

Ladies' Night at the Barn

Thursday Night Ladies' night at the barn will continue through August. Please continue to bring a food or drink item to share. Men who are single, good looking, bring wine and aren't afraid to jump into the middle of a heated debate about feminine hygiene products are also welcome. (Note: if you think "wings" is the name of a band Paul McCartney was in, you do not qualify for participation in such debates).

Sonoma Marin Vet Clinic announces Client of the Month

Debby Burke of Hugh White Training Stables has been named Client of the Month by the Sonoma Marin Vet Clinic. She bested a host of other contenders by requiring copious amounts of veterinary supplies, diagnostic tests and emergency procedures over the past month. "I thought the ultrasounds and the $200 tooth-floating would put me in the running," Debby commented, "but when Dublin put that giant hole in his neck, I knew it was in the bag." Along with the title, Ms. Burke received a framed copy of her vet bill stamped PAST DUE and signed by both the attending veterinarian and the collections agent.

Fourth of July FUN SHOW a success

The July 4 weekend was marked by a barbeque & fun show at the barn. The show featured Over the Pace races (timed walking and trotting events), Singing Groundpole Hunters (riders had to sing a song while on course), the Beer Barrel Polka (a flat class ridden while holding an open beer can) and the highly competitive Obstacle Class (won by Joan Pont and Syrah). Judge for the day was the honorable Ashley Matchett-Woods of the Equestrian's Concierge, who also generously donated many prizes. High Point honors went to Maybe and Sheila and Reserve High Point was won by Charlie and Jennifer. Lisa won the prize for Best Song in the Singing Groundpole Hunter class for her rendition of "My Boyfriend's Back." The coveted Best Turnout prize ( a boot bag made entirely of the fur of some dead animal) was awarded to Eric. We had some photographs of Eric with his prize; unfortunately, pending legal action by members of PETA prohibits us from publishing them.

Welcome New Students

We'd like to welcome our new students. We'd LIKE to, but we don't really have their full names sorted out just yet. Throw more than two of them at us in one month and we can't keep up. Just as well, we haven't told them about the newsletter yet and by the time they find it we'll have figured out who they are.

 

Hugh White Jumping Clinic

You have got to be kidding me.

I don't know what horrifies me most about this photo - the pair's form, the color of the fence, or the fact that the rider's saddle pad and shirt match said fence. Was this the only paint leftover after some easter egg massacre? Last time I saw colors like that was after I ate some suspicious mushrooms back in the 1970s. The only good thing about this fence is that the garish colors draw the observer's eye away from the real train wreck. I'd be trying to hide my face behind the mane too if I was riding a horse with a doilie on its head. Did you get it off of the arm of a chair in Aunt Agnes's sitting room? Or was that the ONLY color bonnet they had in the $5 sale bin at the tack shop? And I'd like to know which issue of Practical Horseman gave you the impression that the raspberry-sorbet colored shirt and pad ensemble was a good idea. Perhaps you should try showing in the Western divisions; I understand neon sequined catsuits are all the rage. Really, until you have more appropriate turnout and quit jumping the My Little Pony colored fences, it's going to be difficult for anyone to take you seriously as a rider. It's too bad, because your leg position is pretty solid even though your steed is making his best "my other job is a carousel horse" effort.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE CONSIDERED for future installments of the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, email photos to jlw@sfredhead.com. If you would like a big black box put over your face, include $50. If you want to be assured that you will NEVER appear in the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, send $1000 in small, unmarked bills. Sorry, no checks or credit cards accepted.

Are you on the mailing list for the Hugh White Training Stables Newletter? If you'd like to know when the page has been updated, please send your email address to JLW@sfredhead.com and we will include you on the distribution list. We won't send you a bunch of dumb jokes, chain letters or other crap. We hate that stuff. What our readers have to say: " I am crying. you are so funny. I am wheezing like an old man. Where are the tissues!" – PM "Once again you have outdone yourself on the newsletter. It is so funny I had to go to the bathroom twice [while reading it]." – D.B "HAD to read it even if it was going to make me late for work.  Must see that I am NOT included in the jumping clinic!" – JP (Editor's note: you can find instructions on how to avoid becoming a subject of the HWJC immediately above these testimonials) "I am going to SUE you people. You can expect to hear from my lawyer this week". – SO (oops, sorry, that last comment was supposed to be edited out…

 

Click on the boxes below for hopelessly out of date information:

       

 

2008 Horse Show Schedule - Updated August 7, 2008

Shows shown in BOLD PRINT are those Hugh has confirmed he will be attending. Please let him know which other shows you are interested in going to - you must commit to rated shows about one month in advance in order to get your entries in before the closing date for any given show. So come on - you don't really need that new roof or colonoscopy. Spend your tax refund on something you'll actually enjoy. Some suggestions: Wine Country Classic (Santa Rosa, August) has great competition and a wide variety of events for riders of all levels while still being affordable. Strides and Tides (Pebble Beach, September) offers the Hudson Medal Finals and the popular NorCal Equitation Classics. Plus, it's beautiful there and you can ride on the beach. For a great all around fabulously fun show, plan on the Let's Show Halloween Show. It's got more fun exhibitor events and parties than any other show of the year.

 

August 2008 Calendar of Events

SUN	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT
					1	2
3	4	5 Menlo Charity	6	7	8	9
10 Barn Barbeque	14 Hugh's Birthday	12	13	14 Wine Country Classic	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	26 Woodside Back to School	30
31	1

 

September 2008 Calendar of Events

SUN	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9 Strides & Tides	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17 Pickwick Fall	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	17 Woodside Fall Finale	26	27
28	29	30	1	2 Pebble Beach Fall Classic	3	4

 

MAC & JILL and other seriously funny stuff can be found at the
MISFIT DESIGNS online store.
You can also find Mac & Jill every month in Equestrian Network Magazine.
This concludes the shameless self-promotion portion of our program.

 

Generally Helpful Stuff
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LINKS
Click on any of the names below to go to that site. If you know of a great equestrian website, send us the address so we can include it! If you come across a link that's not working, please let us know. Sometimes we put in broken links just to see if anybody is paying attention.

Horse Show Organizations/Associations:
United States Equestrian Federation (USEF)
United States Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA)
NORCAL Hunter/Jumper Association
Pacific Coast Horse Shows Association (PCHA)
California Professional Horsemens' Association (CPHA)

Publications & Information:
Riverside Equestrian Center Website
Bay Area Equestrian Network
The Exchange - Horses For Sale
Equestrian Network Magazine- News, Humor, Classifieds

Show News and Results:
Horseshowtime.com (Online Horse Show Results)
Langer Equest. Group (Northern (Woodside) & Southern CA Show News/Results)
Pebble Beach Horse Shows News/Results

Horse Show Photographers :
Sheri Scott Photography
Off The Beaten Path Event Photography
Photos By Field
Naismith Photography

Gifts, Products & Services for Horse People
MISFIT DESIGNS - Equestrian Art & Humor
USRider – Roadside Assistance for Equestrians
Kim Vogee - Natural Light Photography
The Equestrian's Concierge - Tack, Supplies & Custom Services

Membership Information & Forms

RENEW YOUR MEMBERSHIPS NOW! Memberships expire each year on November 30. Remember, USEF members must now ALSO be members of the United States Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA). And of course you must be a member of NORCAL and PCHA if you want any of your horse show points to count toward year end awards. Points are NOT retroactive, so be sure to join BEFORE you compete!

NOTE: To be able to view and print these forms, you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer. The software is FREE and can be downloaded from the Adobe website.
Click here to get free Acrobat Reader software

To download a copy of the NORCAL Membership Form in PDF format, click here.
To download a copy of the PCHA Membership Form in PDF format, click here.
To get info on how to join or renew a USEF Membership, click here.

Newsletter designed and written by JL Werner and MISFIT DESIGNS.